New Kid In Town…

That would be me…

Its real hard to meet people to connect with when a lot of the people are either 10 years older, or 10 years younger than you are. If there’s one thing that I long for the most…its friendship. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough. Maybe there’s no one in their mid-twenties in Forney, TX. Sometimes, I just need to hang…to unplug and unwind.

Maybe I’m not looking in the right places…like sitting in an empty, country Starbucks on a Friday Night. I retreat here a lot. Most times for stimulation. I’m an avid people watcher, and random people inspire me a lot. Even if I’m not talking with them, they can spark the slightest inspiration.

There have been a couple of couples (yes…I meant to say ‘couples’) that I’ve met that are close to my age. They are awesome people! So, I guess I can’t really complain. I don’t have a problem of fitting in at the church. Maybe its a little too soon in the game to send of a Bat-signal saying that I’m lonely!

Maybe I’m comparing my relationships in Houston to the relationships that are here in Forney. That happens a lot after a breakup…comparing the new one to the old one. Maybe instead of blogging in an empty Starbucks, I should pick up the phone (or turn my headphones on!)!! Maybe I’m overreacting….

Yeah…we’ll chalk this one up as an overreaction.

*If you’re living in Forney, TX and you are in your twenties…WHERE ARE YOU?!?!

******NO BOOTY CALLS, PLEASE!!

Haha…this is getting weird.

Looking for friends…just sayin’….

Pastor…

So…I’m about 1000% sure that my calling is to pastor young people. I was convinced of this in January 2001.

2001…seems like an eternity ago!

Although I have been a pastor for nearly two months, it still doesn’t have the ‘ring’ to it that I had hoped. When I was in Lake Charles, LA, I don’t think anyone really called me, or addressed me as ‘Pastor.’ When I was there, deep down, that’s how I really wanted to be addressed. I introduced myself like that all the time. I felt like I had made the ‘Major Leagues.’ I was 22 years old and power hungry. I went in guns-a-blazin’! Changing things left and right, and not really building relationships with the people I was brought there to pastor.

BIG MISTAKE…

I was told, before I left the LC, that most of the kids didn’t like me at all. I understand that now. It wasn’t until a lot of responsibility was removed that I built the relationships with those students. The pressure was off, in a way. I didn’t have the pressure of planning and preparing for a service, or outreaches, or sermons, or events.

When I left the LC, I had very strong relationships with most of those kids. Some of which are still on my Facebook friends list! I saw a few of them this past weekend at the Coreluv Tour in Houston, TX. It was great to see them! I hadn’t seen most of them in over a year. It was just like old times…joking, talking, enjoying each other’s company.

When I first arrived in the LC, I was convinced that pastors had these superhuman…supernatural…powers. Weird…I know. But, seeing what I saw when I was living in Lafayette, LA, convinced me of that. You know when you tell yourself something long enough, you begin to believe it. I don’t know how intentional it was, but I began to think that way. So, naturally, I thought of myself in that way in the LC.

Hence…the way people felt about me.

I learned a lot about myself when I moved to Houston. Like I’ve said before, I went there to examine myself more than anything else. When I got there, the extent of the ministry I did was really just between me and God. I had to heal. I had to learn from my mistakes. I had to take care of myself. I got a job that wasn’t in the ministry or at Starbucks. An 8-5′er is what I got. Never had one of those before. That was a weird experience to say the least. Kinda hated it. Good money, though…haha.

Anyway, now that I’m here in Forney, TX doing the job I love to do, I have taken a different approach. I have decided to, at least, learn the kids names before I give some vision, or shake things up. I’ve got a second chance to do something great! But, this time I want to do it without the superpowers…and the attitude…and the arrogance. Its been quite the process to learn this. I never thought that I was real stubborn…until a few months ago. I’m an ox….

This time around…I don’t really care how ‘Pastor Brett’ sounds.

Don’t Throw The Baby Out With The Bathwater…

*This an older post I wrote a few months ago…*

I love sayings like this. ‘Don’t hate the playa…hate the game!’ You get the picture here. I want to apply the ‘bathwater’ phrase to this post.

A church is an exciting place to be. There’s socializing, coffee, a sing along, giving, equipping, healing, maybe some banner wavin’, lunch and/or dinner, etc. On the contrary, there’s also backbitin’, tom foolery, bitterness, pressure, manipulation, failure, excommunication, etc. I have been a part of 4 churches since I was 15 years old. I have loved it…and definitely hated it. I have seen perfect, God-like, expectations put on pastors, staff, leaders, volunteers, and on whole congregations. I have seen heartbreak warfare because of that. I have been both victim and perp. I have hurt, and been hurt. Hurt people hurt people….

With that being said…

I think that sometimes we forget that churches are run, maintained, led, etc. by very imperfect people. Believe it or not…pastors have struggles and insecurities too! They, however, do a fantastic job of covering it up, for the most part. I have read and heard about people getting hurt by the church. By no means am I condoning actions of abuse, manipulation, deceit, etc. I, also, don’t condone public accusations, or humiliation. The one thing that i didn’t mention in the paragraph above is forgiveness. I don’t see a lot of that…

Maybe I’m just overlooking it. I was asked why I haven’t posted my story in my blogs. In all honesty…its my dad’s fault. In 2001, I threw my dad out with the bathwater. I had nothing to do with him. We spoke three times in 5 years. I bashed his name. Sound familiar…? In 2009, I asked for forgiveness. Why would I do that? I mean…I was the victim there! 1 John 4 just ruined my life. ‘If I can’t love my brother (father, mother, pastor, friend, etc.), then I don’t love God (paraphrasing).’ Even though my dad was in the wrong, my bitterness, and excommunication, was just as wrong as what he did! I’ve done that same thing to the church. I’ve seen other people do that to the church. Since we are black and blue, and beat up…then we have to leave the church black and blue.

The way I see it….

We’re dealing with imperfect people. I’m imperfect, your pastor is imperfect, everyone from Maine to Hawaii, from Alaska to Florida (and Puerto Rico and Guam)….we’re all imperfect. Mercy, grace, and patience is what we have to walk in. The church is the imperfect bride of Christ. If you have a problem with the church…you have a problem with Christ. Don’t throw the insert person out with the bathwater.

I love church dearly…despite the flaws.

I love my dad dearly…despite his flaws.

Christ loves his ‘baby’…despite her nasty bathwater.

-Brett O’Connor

Single…and looking.

*No, this is not an internet ad to put myself out there to say that I’m ready to launch a full out relationship.*

Let me, however, set the backdrop to how I’m feeling…

My best friend got married this weekend. I’ve never really teared up at a wedding…until last Friday. I know, I know…what a punk, right? This wedding was special to me. You see, I was real young when my brother got married. We are 15 years apart, so naturally when they got married when I was in the 5-6 year old range, you can understand that my memories of their wedding are few. This particular best friend is not a best friend at all, but my brother. I have made a covenant with this man that is thicker than blood.

Just follow me here…

This is the same covenant that God has made with us. A bond that is thicker, stronger than any bloodline.

‘To have and to hold…’
‘For sicker or poorer…’
You get the point…

Do you think God hears wedding bells when a sinner comes home? I have heard that all of Heaven rejoices, when a person repents, and says ‘I do.’ Is that rejoicing the reception? Were the ‘Cha-Cha Slide,’ the ‘Electric Slide,’ and the ‘Stanky Leg’ taking place? I can only hope there was a ‘Holy Ghost Hop!’ I’m pretty positive that the joy I felt, and the families represented felt, were just a glimpse of what God feels when we choose him above any other.

I can’t imagine what this will be like for me, when ‘its my turn,’ as my mom says. I think she’s readier than I am! I will say this…I have looked for this ‘love.’ I have looked high and low. In cities and in little country towns. All throughout the South, and Scotland. From Seagoville to Houston. In the past two months I have called off the search for that lucky lady (roll with the humor and sarcasm there, please). Being single is okay. Its not bad. I know God will reveal her to me. I’ve, at some points in life, exhausted myself in this area so much that my pursuit of God has lacked. He spoke to me two months ago…

‘Just chill out…’
‘Relax…’

He assured me that even though I’m still single, I’m not alone.

Single…and looking…for God…

-Brett O’Connor